You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i just had sex bonerless
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
