Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
porn star boner night. come get it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
