found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I puked a lego.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Randomize
