Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
