Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
