I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
