hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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