I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You were trust falling into bushes
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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