the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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