just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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