I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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