Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
