She's JV to your varsity
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
did i just pee glitter
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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