maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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