my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
