Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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