we have pet lesbian snakes
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
