Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
