i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
