Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
