listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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