I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
