Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
