Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
