I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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