I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
