hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
