He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
the gays at disneyland are vicious
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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