you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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