I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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