can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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