no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
ugly people sure do ruin things
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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