I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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