don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
