4 words: hood of his car
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
