Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
