I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
