Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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