hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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