Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
