3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I understand Curling. That high.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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