dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
