Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
