It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
