She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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