smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
