no, he came in my armpit
are you so shy because you have an std?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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