Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
