I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
