you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
