Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
