My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
