So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So gin and wine won't be happening again
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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