i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
