So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
