Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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