I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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