I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
