I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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